Do you know what it (tinnitus) is? I’d always thought that I did.
Ringing in the ears, sure. Happens for a few seconds (maybe minutes) after a loud noise or physical impact/trauma alongside a concussive-like deafness. You see it in the movies a lot, depicted in an almost surreal dream-like state while the characters in question struggle to get their respective shit back together. … well, that’s cute -but not entirely accurate, at least for many sufferers.
…. For many, it’s a busted (unreachable & “unfixable”) smoke alarm going off, full tilt, inside the skull -PERPETUALLY. -Perpetually, as in “the rest of your life“. I did not know that was a thing, I thought it was a temporary disorder only.
Real quick, one (tragically) learns that there is no cure and no actual effective treatment, just masks, hearing aids to amplify the lost audio and to diffuse (as best as possible) the ceaseless screaming (it’ll always be the top layer of noise heard).
One will be offered group counseling, but that’s really for the doctors, so they can maintain feeling somewhat in control and helpful (because just saying “sucks to be you” is still considered unprofessional) …. but do you really want to sit in with a group of stricken individuals that can’t properly hear and are hearing things? -“hey, what do you got? -I got an amphitheater of cicada in my head”, “what?”, “huh”, “I’ve got rickety railway trains braking into station in mine!!” and stuff like that. If the biggest therapy of them all is distraction then why the in the hell would anyone want to go dwell and fester aloud in a live group about it? Thanks, but no thanks, Doc.
Anywhoo, the brain is stupid, it’s the fricken Jerry Lewis of organs. The ringing/high frequency noise one “hears” isn’t actual noise, it’s the inept, yet overly-helpful, brain trying to compensate for sudden hearing loss. Insult to injury to misery.
Just know this, at any point in your life, at any time, no matter what -know that I am hearing the equivalent of a testicularly-squeezed drill Sargent screeching in my ear like I was the one pinching his sorry sack.
1 in 22 people are experiencing this, so they say anyway. Even though I don’t know of anyone else (personally) I believe the numbers because I, myself, don’t talk about it. This is my first time. It’s almost like a confession, I feel broken and kind of (a lot) helpless. I bet a lot of others do too.
Some of you have had it already for decades and decades, competing with (and adding to) all the other stresses of life. I’m sorry. I never understood. But it’s because of you, that have withstood, that I have hope to have the quality kind of life where no one else could tell I suffer from this bizarre, and mentally exhaustive, condition. *salute*